Lost

Lost the last episode was on tonight... I know what some may think..WHY do you watch a show with a smoke monster in it? Well You just have to watch it. It makes no sence and I am always "Lost," and not all my answers were clear but I now have peace. I would spend hours at night researching what people thought would happen and dreams I was there so I am thankful it is over. I wish my husband who introduced me to it only last year could have been here for it with me. I know he's keeping busy and lost is probably well maybe he feels lost in a desert right now but he is thinking of that instead of the TV show at home. PS I miss him being here.

I am craving some of these

Don't act like you aren't impressed cause they look delicious. I might be making them Tuesday when I have nothing else to look forward too for the day.

I went shopping with my mom and dad to the park city outlets. Nothing to report except I want a pit bull. They are the sweetest things ever...My mom reminded me I have a cat...as big and as hungry as a dog. She got me there.

Friday I did something that some would think was crazy and something I would regret in the future. I am going to explain to ALL of you what I did and why I will NEVER regret it...besides I can't go back now.

"If there were no rewards to reap, No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I have chosen here, I certainly would have walked away by now."

I will now explain what this quote means to me where I heard it and how I decided to go about placing it in tattoo form on my back. This is a section of lyrics from a Tool song called The Patient. Click on the song you will go to a lyrics page for it. Now it has come to my attention that a lot of people think this was for my husband being a long time Tool fan I can see where it might come into play. The words seal the deal right? WRONG. Now I won't say this is compleatly wrong my husband is a huge part of my life now and it was a part of what I am going through, but he was not my only reason. Re read the lyrics...and again...what do you come up with? I am sure it is different for everybody. My opionion on what this means is if this life wasn't worth while well we should have all given up. If there wasn't a greater goal then we would have turned away. How I wanted it for me was if there wasn't my family and friends and people to help us all along our lifes journey then we would have given up. I will not give up which is why I chose this. I would have walked away from this life if there were no rewards. I do believe in God and I believe that is my goal. I want to be in heaven with my family. I wanna do right to me and to others. I want to be the best possible version of myself, to help others on their journey as they have helped me. There are many interpretes to this. If it wasn't worth it to have waited for Dave on his last deployment, I wouldn't have done it...but I knew there would be a reward. Patients is the key to this. If you read the lyrics it is about being patient. This too shall pass. If you don't like it I don't expect you to understand. This wasn't a spur of the moment decision and even if it was there is no ones opion that can change it now. So it's best to keep negative comments to yourself. I am happy with my decision. And inn 60 years when I have laugh lines and age is something people can tell by my fly away grey hair and the words have faded to a shade of grey it will still mean something to me. It was a part of who I was then. I will never regret anything I have done in the past because it was something that ment something to me. I may not like the guys I have dated in the past but I don't regret them. They made me realize what traits I liked and the ones I didn't like. They made me realize I was not the only one in a relationship and I need to share....I may not want to share treats but I do a damn good job as a wife sharing with Dave now. Don't regret your life. ANYTHING because everything you have done, every mistake, every laugh, every happy memory. It MENT something to you. I know it did.

I am going to leave on this note... Do unto others as they would do to you. Be happy and smile, the little things in life are worth living for. Be happy with what you have and do not be envious because it looks bad on everyone.

I hope I gave you something to think about.

xoxo Wifey/Heather