10%

So You know those new years resolutions that everyone makes and after 3-4 weeks fails miserably. I have done it so nobody reading this better deny it. I have learned that nothing can switch over in a day. You can tell yourself that you are going to the gym every day at 5am but if you aren't already waking up that early or going to the gym at all then how is that going to automatically switch. Now I know there are those who stop what they're doing right then and there and change everything, but I know that's not me.
I have proven myself time and time again with hard work and dedication that I can loose the weight I have managed to keep around my midsection for the past few years. It keeps coming back because I fall into my routine again, and I am sick of it. I am still making it a goal to get fit this year but instead of making this big huge deal and making my goal every day gym morning I know that if I even fail the one time that I might fall back into that same routine. So I am going to be making a few smaller goals every month and when I feel like I have made my goal I will move on. I am going to make a lifestyle change. With hard work and dedication I can make a 10% shift into that new lifestyle.
Therefore my goals for this January month is to be waking up an hour earlier 3 days a week to go to the gym. I hate going to the gym after school so I know if I go in the morning I will start getting used to waking up earlier.
Another goal is to save treats for one day a week. So I won't be tempted to throw any treat into my mouth I will save something special to a different day because I feel like if I do this I won't be shoving all the candy in my mouth daily I will really think of what a special treat it will be.
My next goal is to sit down and eat my meals in a chair with a table in front of me. Not driving!

So there you have it 3 times working out in the morning, a treat day (probably saturday) and no driving and eating, sitting down and eating my meal in front of a table.

Where is my Motivation?

Okay, so I do not know why all of a sudden I don't have motivation to do ANYTHING but sit on my fat lazy butt and eat potato chips or whatever else loaded with carbs and sugar while I plant myself in front of the tv or computer. I seriously have GOT TO STOP!!


I have givin up all my goals and I feel like a big, fat, jello-like, LOSER. *sad face* I need to get back on track. I hate being bigger, and no I do not at all think I am Obese but I know this is the biggest I have ever been and I truly truly hate it and dislike myself a lot for letting myself get this way. My mom always tells me  "You know what to do to change that." Well yes I do know what to do but really I need to figure out a way to remind myself of what I do not want to be. Starting with pictures of my nasty chub self in my car. That's sometimes where all my eating habits start is at the drive thru. If I see my nasty fatness in a picture on my dashboard maybe it'll stop me from eating the double cheeseburger with fries. I want to be motivated to go to the gym again. If anyone wants to join me, you are more than welcome but this needs to be for me and needs to be a change for the good. I am going to try and be strict with myself until I loose about 30 lbs, which if I am good should be before the end of the year. After that I will still eat what I enjoy but in MODERATION! Seriously folks I am going to come to terms with the fact that the food is NOT GOING TO DISAPPEAR if I dont EAT IT RIGHT AWAY! I get into this mode when food is placed in front of me and I scarf it down because it's like "Live for the moment right?" Eh I don't want to live for the moment because you don't know what could happen.
I know someone who was only 38 who died of a massive heart attack, I don't want that to be me and I want to prevent whatever I can.
So I am going to sit down now and decide when I am going to the gym and maybe having a structured day of when I am going to the gym will help. It's defiinitly a start. Oh and NO MORE SODA *sad* But seriously liquid sugar isn't something I need in my body or for my teeth. So there ya have it. Baby steps. I think I can I think I can I think I can I think I can...

New Year, New Goals

1. No more self loathing, get myself in shape and make myself happy
2. Trying more... I am sure my family will try and abuse this, but give it time I'll try something new
3. Better sleeping habits. (as I write this at 2:45 in the morning)
4. Less computer time, more Hubby time
5. Kinder words
6. Softer touches
7. Date night. (I don't care if it's dollar theater)
8. Putting others before myself (namely my Husband)
9. Cosmotology school
10. Being happier

Bring it on New Year, I'm ready for you.